08/06/2014
PowerPoint – the elixir of youth
Cardio, strength-conditioning, a Mediterranean diet, and enough alcohol to give you beer goggles but not enough to see you in a police cell on a Saturday night, is one recipe for a long and hopefully happy life. But if all this sounds like too much effort, there's another elixir of youth with absolutely no potions and lotions. Let's hear it then it for our sometimes friend and frequent foe - PowerPoint. Can this be the very same PowerPoint that's destroyed your will to live during endless presentations, has made you question why you're not diving for pearls to earn your daily crust; you know, something simple, involving no more risk than facing a hungry Moray Eel in the ocean depths and possible death by drowning, like the female Ama divers of Japan? Well, according to a woman who hails from Cartagena, the short answer is … yes.
Lourdes del Castillo de Rumié not only has an impressive name, but at 77 years old she has an impressively unlikely source of inspiration and joy. No, it's not watching Hummingbirds flit among the trees in her native Columbia, nor has she expressed a desire to swim with Dolphins. Instead, she embraces PowerPoint. I'll write that word again in case you don't think you read it correctly the first time – e.m.b.r.a.c.e.s. I'd use caps, but everyone tells me that makes it look like you're shouting. It seems that using PowerPoint is her recipe for a joyous old age.
Decades passed as Mrs del Castillo de Rumié baked wedding cakes and taught art history from home, blissfully unaware that PowerPoint was taking over the corporate world and was being used by the military as a means of not divulging information, the thinking being that it was a useful tool in bamboozling the media at press conferences because no-one could understand the presentation.
Lourdes (informal, but it's quicker to type) was until quite recently technophobic, in common with many of her generation. Then her equally impressively-named friend, Myriam Vélez de Lemaitre, herself almost 90, enthused to Lourdes about the Internet and recommended a computer teacher, one Luis Felipe Venegas, and so was opened a new window on the world. She now travelled extensively, courtesy of Google Earth, and found the wealth of information at her fingertips inspirational. For those who've never experienced the pre-internet era, when Mammoths bestrode the planet and using an Olivetti typewriter was the closest thing there was to the age of information, the use of the net now seems as commonplace as blinking, but for Lourdes it was life-changing. Then, after mastering many new online tricks, her knowledge of art met PowerPoint.
With hubby tucked up in bed, she could now spend half the night weaving a narrative about Michaelangelo, replete with Renaissance music and men in fig leaves. Art has come to life for her students, thanks to so far over 175 presentations. Life itself has new meaning too, and there's now a future for her beyond the usual travails of ageing. She had thought that going to her Catholic heaven would be paradise indeed, for there she'd meet Michaelangelo and all those other greats, now reborn through her PowerPoint slides. But she's too busy to think about dying. Anyway, she now has access to information which is far greater than that possessed by mere immortals.
Dennis Austin, Robert Gaskins and Thomas Rudkin have a torrid time ahead, as Lourdes has expressed a wish to kiss the inventor of PowerPoint, 'from his head to his toes', not realising that it was three of them who conceptualised the idea back in '87. No doubt they might like to return the compliment, given the noble use Lourdes has made of their idea.
Whether the Moray Eel featured in the attached photo is a particular threat to the pearl divers of Ama is unknown. Perhaps Lourdes could look it up? That picture has been used because it's scary. Scary is cool. But as cool as PowerPoint in the hands of Lourdes del Castillo de Rumié? Next one up there in Heaven please tell Michaelangelo, Leonardo (Da Vinci, not DeCaprio), El Greco and the rest, that they have some great presentations coming their way, but hopefully not too soon.