Buccaneers Retreat

07/26/2026

Zoom calls. Spreadsheets. That one coworker who replies all in all caps. The grind is real, and the burnout is burnin'.

Kids get summer break. Why shouldn't you?

Less than a week now to grab this August discount, perfect for anyone who's ever dreamed of saying "screw it" and running away to sea - but with Wi-Fi, a pool and and a hot tub.

🏴‍☠️ The Scurvy Dog Days of Summer Discount

🌊 25% off the nightly rate for the entire month of August
🧼 Taxes and cleaning fee not discounted (the king's due and the harbor tax remain)
📍 Buccaneers Retreat – Kissimmee, FL | 15 minutes to the Mouse's Kingdom

What awaits:
🏊 Resort pool open until 10:00 PM for sunset swims
🛁 Hot tub for soaking away existential dread
🍹 Fully equipped kitchen, including a blender for frosty drinks
🏴‍☠️ Themed rooms that are begging for a cosplay photoshoot
🔍 An indoor treasure hunt with prizes
📸 Content creator paradise - every room is Insta-worthy

Who says pirate adventures are just for kids? You've got PTO. You've got a sense of adventure. You've got a pool noodle with your name on it.

Book by July 31 or the offer walks the plank. Link in bio.

Tag your first mate (or your work BFF who needs this). 👇

07/13/2026

Avast, ye weary parents! ☀️

The summer sun be scorchin'. The young scallywags be whinin' about school startin'. And ye, brave captain, be ready to walk the plank... straight into the pool.

So we be offerin' a discount to save yer sanity.

🏴‍☠️ The Scurvy Dog Days of Summer Discount

🌊 25% off the nightly rate fer the entire month of August
🧼 Taxes and cleaning fee not discounted (the king's due and the harbor tax remain)
📍 Buccaneers Retreat – Kissimmee, FL | 15 minutes to the Mouse's Kingdom

Come claim yer escape:
🏊 Resort pool to cool yer cannons
🛁 Hot tub to soothe yer weary bones
🌴 A peaceful port where the only battle be over who gets the top bunk and who gets the mermaid room
🏴‍☠️ Themed rooms and an indoor treasure hunt that'll keep the young'uns busy while ye sip a cold one

Book by July 31 or the offer walks the plank. Link in bio.

Tag a parent who needs a pool and a drink. 👇

06/10/2026

Avast, ye young scallywags! 🏴‍☠️

This be the Bunk Room at Buccaneers Retreat — ideal accommodations for the littles in your pirate crew.

What treasures await:
🛝 Bunk beds with a slide
⚓ Pirate decor
💡 Lantern lights
🧸 A nautical toy box filled with plunder (toys and games for quiet moments between raids)

One of three themed cabins aboard this vessel. The Pirate Room and Mermaid Room be just down the passageway.

Every sailor finds their dream berth here.

📍 15 minutes to the Mouse's Kingdom | Kissimmee, FL

Tag a first mate who needs to claim this bunk. 👇

Link in profile to secure yer passage.

06/08/2026

We understand. Sometimes the wind changes and someone's voyage brings them to a different port. Let someone else's foul weather be your good fortune! A cancellation on our calendar has opened docking space this month, from June 15 to 24 the nightly rate is now available at a 25% discount!

You can stay 3 nights for $415 including all taxes and cleaning fee - less than $150 a night!!

Stay 7 nights for $670 including all taxes and cleaning fee - that's less than $100 a night!!!

First come, first served - don't wait! These berths will fill up fast at this rate!

06/03/2026

Sleep like a pirate for less! Weekday stays through July start at $90 a night plus tax and cleaning fee. Link to our website in our bio to book! And follow our friend Jack Runwithjack for more adventures!

05/26/2026

Take a tour of Buccaneers Retreat - a pirate's port fit for any vacationing captain and their crew.

🏠 The Quarters:

1700 square feet so the whole crew has space

3 bedrooms - sleeps 6

2 baths

A fully equipped kitchen

A captain's quarters with king bed

A mermaid room with queen bed

A bunk room where yer littlest scallywags can walk..er...slide down the plank

A screen porch for relaxing after a long day of exploring

Laundry room with washer and dryer

🌊 The Amenities:

Resort pool and hot tub

Outdoor grills and picnic area

High-speed WiFi

15 minutes to the Mouse's Kingdom

A perfect hideaway for families who want the magic of a themed getaway without shelling out all your doubloons for a cramped hotel room.

Raise the Jolly Roger and claim yer berth. Link in bio.

05/21/2026

Value Resort vs. Pirate Condo - where are you staying?

05/16/2026

Yearning for a longer stay in a pirate paradise? Stay 7 nights or longer and claim 15% off the nightly rate.

What BE discounted:
✓ Nightly rate (15% off)

What NOT be discounted:
✗ Cleaning fee (that be the swabs toll)
✗ Airbnb service fee (the harbormaster tariff)
✗ Taxes (the king's due)

The 15% discount hoists its flag when ye book 7 nights or longer. Airbnb shows ye the total doubloons including all fees right up front, so ye see the final price before ye weigh anchor. No ghost fees in the hold.

Perfect fer a fortnight's escape from the stormy seas. Link in bio to secure yer berth.

📍 15 minutes to Disney in Kissimmee, FL

Buccaneers Retreat pirate themed condo near Disney

05/15/2026

This be the final chance - summer be three sheets to the wind and closin' fast.

So here be the last offer from the captain:

🏴‍☠️ $99* per night for June, July, and August
📅 Today be the last stand – May 15 be the deadline
📍 15 Minutes from Walt Disney World's main gate

Vacation season lies just beyond the horizon. Raise anchor and claim yer getaway afore this deal scarpers at midnight tonight. Your path to booking lies in the comments below.

Questions? Send a message via sea turtle (or just DM me) before the tide takes this offer out to sea. Rates shall rise on the morrow.
*plus taxes and cleaning fee