The Assembly House

02/06/2026

🌹🗝️ THERE ARE NOW ONLY FOUR WEEKS LEFT TO DISCOVER OUR SECRET GARDEN AFTERNOON TEA 🗝️🌹

And before anyone asks, because people absolutely have: no, there is not an actual Secret Garden.

There is no hidden gate behind The Assembly House.
There is no password.
You do not obtain access by texting a burner phone.
There is no elderly groundskeeper who appears at dusk and whispers clues.
There is no phone box in Norwich where you must answer a riddle before being given the coordinates.
There is no man called Gary waiting in a lay-by to tell you where to go next.
The Secret Garden is, as in the book, largely a state of mind – and cake, sandwiches, savouries and scones.

Inspired by Frances Hodgson Burnett's beloved classic, our Secret Garden Afternoon Tea will be blooming merrily until June 30 before quietly retreating back into the literary undergrowth, taking its robins, roses and extremely good pastries with it.

Which means you now have just four weeks left to visit.

This feels particularly important because the weather forecast for the coming week appears to have been prepared by somebody going through a difficult time.

While Britain collectively contemplates another seven days of staring moodily out of windows and saying things like "well, the garden needed it", you could instead be spending an afternoon in a garden where the flowers are made of sugar, the robins are macarons and absolutely nobody needs to mow anything.

On the menu:
🍓 Mary's Sun-Drenched Strawberry Hearts
🌹 Yorkshire Rhubarb and Rose Trifle
🍋 Lennox's Lemon Awakening
❤️ Robin Redbreast's Hidden Treasure Macaron
🗝️ The Key to the Walled Garden Opera
🫖 Tea in the Garden Chocolate

Alongside sandwiches, scones, savouries and our Hidden Garden loose leaf tea, all lovingly created by Head of Pastry Mark Mitson and Executive Chef Julia Hetherton.

You can even add:
🌸 Cherry Blossom Cocktails
🍒 Cherry Thick Shakes

Which, whilst not appearing in the original novel, would almost certainly have improved several chapters.

So if you've been meaning to visit, this is your gentle reminder that June has a habit of disappearing alarmingly quickly. One minute you're saying, "we've got ages." The next you're wondering where the month went and why you never got round to eating the cake.

Call 01603 626402, or unlock the garden (THE METAPHORICAL ONE) here: www.assemblyhousenorwich.co.uk/afternoon-tea/menus

No password required, just an appetite and a healthy willingness to believe, however briefly, that gardens can be magical and calories don't count when they're educational.

01/06/2026

🎄📊 ATTENTION: THE PERSON WHO HAS SOMEHOW ENDED UP ORGANISING THE OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY 📊🎄

(Yes, it's June. But also yes some of these nights have already almost sold out)

You know who you are: it's not because you volunteered, it's more because there was a pause in the meeting, everyone looked down at their laptops and before you knew it you were saying, "I don't mind sorting it if nobody else wants to."

A sentence which has ruined countless lives.

You started with optimism: I mean, it's not that hard, is it? A venue, a meal, a bit of music, how difficult could it be? Then the emails began.

"Can it be vegan, but also mostly turkey?"
"Can we have dancing, but not the sort of dancing where people dance?"
"Can we make it feel really Christmassy without actually mentioning Christmas?"
"Can we have a private dining room, a DJ, a casino, a magician and a budget of £12.50 per head?"
"Can we invite Keith, but seat him somewhere else?"
"Can we make it fun, but not compulsory fun?"
"Can we make sure it's not on a Thursday because Darren's got indoor bowls?"
"Can it be exactly like last year?"
"Can it be absolutely nothing like last year?"
"Can we not have another 'incident'?"
No. No, we cannot.

The office Christmas party is one of the few remaining occasions in modern life where 27 adults attempt to agree on a single thing and immediately discover they have absolutely nothing in common except access to the same printer.

Which is why we have done the hard bit for you.

Our Shared Christmas Party Nights are specifically designed for people who have reached the stage of party planning where they would quite happily pay somebody else to make the entire conversation go away.

You bring the colleagues, we'll provide:

🥂 Prosecco and canapés
🍽️ A two-course festive feast
☕ Coffee and mince pies
🎧 A proper DJ
💃 More dancing than ever before
✨ A Georgian mansion full of people having a genuinely lovely time

All for £60 per person with no committee meetings, no venue hunting, no spreadsheets called "Christmas_Party_Final_V3_Actually_Final.xlsx" and no receiving a message at 10.47pm asking whether whether the seating plan can be adjusted because two people who were married when the spreadsheet was created are no longer speaking.

Just book it, put it in the diary and enjoy the glorious feeling of being able to answer every future question with: "it's sorted."

Dates available:
🎄 November 12
🎄 November 19
🎄 November 20
🎄 November 26
🎄 November 27
🎄 November 28
🎄 December 10
🎄 December 19

Call 01603 626402 or visit: www.assemblyhousenorwich.co.uk/events

Because every office has one person holding Christmas together with a spreadsheet, three colour-coded tabs and an increasingly concerning eye twitch. But this year, it doesn't have to be you.

31/05/2026

🕰️✨ People do love to say things were better in the olden days...✨🕰️

And to be fair, some things absolutely were.
Mars Bars were the size of a paving slab. Nobody could contact you while you were in Tesco. And people smoked with the kind of glamorous determination now only seen in French cinema.
BUT. Every now and then we look back through the history of The Assembly House restaurant and realise that nostalgia is occasionally just selective amnesia wearing stout shoes.
Swipe through these photos from the 1940s onwards and witness the many eras of the dining room, including:
• “Church hall dressed for a parish council buffet”
• “Aggressively beige civic function suite”
• “Why does this look like a regional conference for undertakers?”
• ...and my personal favourite: “1989 wedding disco inside a haunted jewellery box.”
Honestly, watching the restaurant evolve through the decades is a bit like looking back at your old haircuts and wondering why nobody who loved you staged an intervention.
The room itself, of course, has always been magnificent. Those soaring Georgian ceilings have quietly watched humans redecorate it in increasingly questionable ways for generations. Like a tired parent observing a toddler draw on a wall.
And now? Well: proof that sometimes ‘now’ is actually better than ‘then’.
The chandeliers sparkle, the colours sing, the fireplaces no longer look like they’ve recently received disappointing news from a solicitor.
Finally the whole room has finally become what it always deserved to be: gloriously dramatic, slightly decadent and permanently ready for cake.
History is VERY important...but thank heavens for refurbishment, as can be seen in the last three photos. Phew.

31/05/2026

Some causes matter because they're worthy.

Some causes matter because you know, beyond any doubt, that every contribution will make a real and lasting difference.

The Clare School in Norwich’s Clare’s Futures project is one of those causes.

Both Stacey and I are incredibly proud to be governors at The Clare School, which means we have the privilege of seeing first-hand the extraordinary things that happen there every single day.

We see the determination of the pupils, we see the dedication of the staff and we see the strength, resilience and love shown by families who navigate challenges that most of us will never fully understand.

And let us stress to you that every visit is filled with joy, laughter, ambition and possibility.

The Clare School never asks, "what can't our pupils do?"

Instead, it asks, "what can we make possible?"

This appeal is about turning that question into action. The funds raised will help create opportunities for older pupils to gain valuable work experience and employment skills, support new enterprises and provide life-changing experiences and much-needed respite for families. It is about independence, opportunity, dignity, friendship and exciting futures.

As governors, we see the care, commitment and vision behind every goal the school sets itself and we are constantly inspired by this remarkable community.

That's why we're asking for your support.

Whether you can give £1, £2, £5, £10 or more, every donation helps open doors and create opportunities that can have a lasting impact on a young person's life. And if you're a business owner, employer, fundraiser, fundraiser-in-waiting, serial cake baker, or someone with an idea that could help, we'd love to hear from you too. Your time, expertise, connections and enthusiasm can be just as valuable as a financial contribution.

The Clare School is there for children and young people aged from nursery to 19 who live with special educational needs and disabilities, helping every pupil develop the skills, confidence and independence to thrive and achieve their potential.

We are SO proud to be associated with The Clare School.

And we are even prouder of the remarkable young people, families and dedicated staff at the heart of it.

Please take a moment to read the appeal below. If you're able to support, please donate, get involved, or help spread the word by sharing this appeal with others who may be able to help. Together, we can make even more possible for this fantastic community ❤️

Help The Clare School raise money to support Care for Clare Appeal

30/05/2026

🍔🇺🇸🥧 OUR AMERICAN DINER SUPPER CLUB IS NEARLY SOLD OUT 🥧🇺🇸🍔

It has been pointed out that The Assembly House, being a Georgian mansion in the middle of Norwich, is not an American diner. This is true.

On the other hand, both contain walls, floors, ceilings and people enthusiastically eating pie, so perhaps we are focusing too much on our differences rather than our similarities - as Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie wisely observed, we are the world.

On Thursday July 30, our Music Room will become a glorious celebration of American comfort food, served feast-style on communal tables to a room full of people who arrived intending to pace themselves and will almost certainly fail.

There will be Southern fried chicken tenders with honey mustard, grilled cheese sandwich bites with tomato soup shooters, loaded potato skins, towering burgers, BBQ pulled pork, mac and cheese baked until bubbling, onion rings, fries, slaw and enough carbohydrates to make a nutritionist quietly remove themselves from the conversation.

And then come the desserts: apple pie, New York cheesecake, chocolate brownie sundaes.

The evening is designed around exactly the sort of food that requires absolutely no explanation whatsoever because it is fundamentally cheese, meat, potatoes and happiness.

Which brings us to the small matter of availability: we now have fewer than 20 tickets remaining. Not "fewer than 20" in the way estate agents describe a cupboard as a home office - genuinely fewer than 20.

In fact, we are now approaching that dangerous stage in the life cycle of an event where people start saying, "ooh, that sounds fun, I'll book later," moments before discovering that later IS TOO DARN LATE.

So if the idea of spending a summer evening eating burgers, pulled pork, cheesecake and brownie sundaes beneath the chandeliers of a Georgian mansion appeals to you, now would be an excellent time to secure your place.

Full details and menus here: www.assemblyhousenorwich.co.uk/events/2025/09/american-diner-supper-club and then call 01603 626402 to book and avoid the booking fee.

After all, opportunities to enjoy diner food in a Georgian mansion do not come along every day. Mainly because most Georgian mansions have VERY strict views on onion rings.

29/05/2026

🏩🫖🧁🥂 THIS DEAL IS DISAPPEARING FASTER THAN MY PATIENCE WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S REPLY-ALL EMAILS 🥂🧁🫖🏩

You know that moment when you think, "I'll book that tomorrow"? Well, tomorrow is currently putting on its shoes and heading towards a grey to-do-list that includes descaling the kettle and removing your family's hair from shower traps.

Our £215 Afternoon Tea, Fizz, Stay and Breakfast deal for TWO PEOPLE is being snapped up at a frankly alarming rate, and there is now only a scattering of dates left over the next few weeks.

Some of them are in Rooms 10 and 16 too, which are among our biggest suites and currently seem to be moving faster than a family WhatsApp conversation going from "who's bringing the trifle?" to "well, apparently I can do NOTHING right.”

For £215 for TWO PEOPLE, you'll get:

🫖 Afternoon Tea for Two
🍾 A bottle of fizz waiting in your room
🏩 A night in one of our luxury bedrooms
🥓 A freshly cooked-to-order breakfast the following morning

In other words: tea, bubbles, a giant bed and somebody else making breakfast: frankly, we'd struggle to improve upon that even if we added a butler and a small orchestra.

AVAILABLE DATES:

🏩 Sunday May 31: rooms 2, 6, 11, 14, 15
🏩 Monday June 1: rooms 3, 11
🏩 Tuesday June 2: rooms 4, 5, 6, 10, 14
🏩 Wednesday June 3: rooms 3, 14
🏩 Thursday June 4: rooms 3, 6, 9, 10
🏩 Sunday June 7: rooms 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9, 10, 14, 15, 16
🏩 Monday June 8: rooms 2, 3, 4, 6, 8, 10, 11, 14, 15
🏩 Tuesday June 9: rooms 6, 7, 8, 10, 11

This offer is guaranteed until at least the end of September, after which it will be led gently into a field and set free to roam the countryside with the other retired bargains.

Call 01603 626402, or book online before somebody else nicks the last suite, the last scone and quite possibly your entire plan for a lovely evening of unsurpassed joy www.assemblyhousenorwich.co.uk/luxury-bedrooms

28/05/2026

🎂🥳 IT IS THE BIRTHDAY OF MR MARK MITSON 🥳🎂

For nearly THIRTEEN YEARS, Mark has been the calm, talented, deeply patient (mainly) pastry genius behind every themed Afternoon Tea, every impossible cake, every dessert that’s made people whip their phones out before their cutlery.

What most people don’t see is the process.

The process usually begins with me appearing in the kitchen doorway like a black-clad Victorian prophetess who’s had a vision while driving down the A47.

“Mark…I’ve had an idea. What if the cake looked like a haunted lighthouse?
“What if the mousse could light up?
“What if we suspended a meringue moon from a six-foot sugar tree?
“What if the icing was…more 1980s?
“NO, not blue-blue, slightly pink blue. You know what I mean?”

And then this poor man has to stand there, blinking slowly, while I hand him three paint charts, a broken antique teacup and what can only be described as the fever dream of a woman who’s had too much elderflower cordial and not enough sleep.

And somehow, against all known laws of butter, physics and human tolerance, HE MAKES IT.

Repeatedly.

If I ask him to remake the same cake seven times because “the vibe is slightly off”, he does it.
If I decide at 11.47am before a photo shoot at noon that we suddenly need an edible carousel horse, he does it.
If I ask whether a biscuit can “feel more wistful”, he very rarely tells me to get out.

And together with our wonderful Exec Chef Julia, he has helped turn thousands of ridiculous, ambitious, joyful ideas into reality for our customers.

Honestly, there is so much of The Assembly House in Mark’s hands. Every Afternoon Tea you’ve loved since he joined us has his gloved fingerprints all over it. Usually literally, because butter.

He is my pastry partner in crime, one of the funniest people to work with and a genuinely brilliant human being.

Happy Birthday, mark_mitson. We adore you 🥰

(And yes, he’s working today on the prototype for our new summer tea. And yes, I’ve rejected it due to ‘blue issues’. Sorry Mark. Have you redone it yet? 😉🩵)

PS I realise all this makes me sound like a cake tyrant. Which is accurate.

26/05/2026

🔥 Today’s weather forecast: too hot to function, too hot to sleep, too hot to wear clothes, too hot to hear the words “Christmas Igloo availability” 🔥

Which is awkward for both of us, really.

The pavements are melting, people are lying spread-eagled in front of fans like Renaissance paintings of despair and somewhere in Hellesdon a man has said “it’s not the heat, it’s the humidity” for the 97th time today.

And here at The Assembly House? We are selling Christmas igloos. FGS🎄❄️

Because while the rest of Britain is desperately trying to cool down by standing suspiciously close to M&S fridges, we are already knee-deep into festive chaos, fairy lights and mulled-wine testing.

The Christmas Igloos are on sale NOW and booking one may cool you psychologically for up to 30 seconds (maybe longer if you whisper “December” repeatedly into a desk fan). Tell me honestly, who else is giving you the opportunity to feel emotionally refrigerated today?

All the details, dates and remaining availability are here:
www.assemblyhousenorwich.co.uk/christmas-2026-at-the-assembly-house/igloos

You may now return to your day, reacting to 27C like it’s the surface temperature of Mercury.

25/05/2026

🌞🔥 HEATWAVE MODE: ACTIVATED 🔥🌞
Norwich, it’s about to get hotter than the surface of a sausage roll left on a car dashboard and our Georgian dining room is the architectural equivalent of a cool cucumber wearing a cravat.
That's official, I am drawing on statistics I made up last week.
High ceilings help heat rise away from people level, so even if the room is technically warm, it feels cooler where you’re sitting.
I mean the bad news is that there’s no air conditioning in the restaurant because it’s a Grade I listed building and our outdoor furniture isn’t making an appearance yet because it needs to be de-seagulled (DO NOT ASK), but…
There’s a reason grand houses stayed relatively bearable through summers before air conditioning existed: they were designed around airflow and thermal mass and this is actual SCIENCE and FACT.
Compared with many modern low-ceilinged rooms that trap heat like an angry Tupperware container, a Georgian dining room will often feel noticeably cooler and airier in warm weather.
And who are we to argue with science? Speaking as someone who failed their biology GCSE, I’d just like to say to whichever examining board was responsible for Norfolk in 1989: LOOK AT ME NOW. I still retained enough information to successfully produce two children, which frankly feels like at least a solid C grade in applied biology.