Trafford Hotel, Gwarinpa

02/08/2014

A Togolese, a Nigerian and a
Ghanaian were caught red handed
drinking alcohol in Saudi Arabia,
where consumption of Alcohol is
strictly prohibited. The three of them were dragged in
front of the Sultan, who said: “You will get 50 lashes for the
consumption of alcohol. However,
since you are foreigners and did not
know about the prohibition, I will be
lenient. Each of you will have a wish
before getting the punishment. You start, Togolese.” Togolese: “I wish that you tie a pillow
to my back, before you flog me.” His
wish was fulfilled, but the flogging
was so strong that the pillow tore
into pieces after 25 lashes. The Nigerian, upon seeing what had
happened to the Togolese wished
for two pillows on his back but still,
the pillows got torn early. Now the Sultan turns to the Ghana-
man, and says: “Now, Ghanaian, since I am a big
football fan and you play such
beautiful football, I will be specially
lenient with you. You have two
wishes, but choose well.” Ghana-man says: “First of all I want
100 lashes”. The Nigerian and the Togolese look
at themselves flabbergasted. The Sultan replies: “I do not
understand it, but we will grant you
the double number of lashes! And
your second wish?” Ghana-man:“Tie the Nigerian on my
back”

29/07/2014

true life story! How my friend and his wife lived for
25 years without a fight. They had become so famous in the
city for not having a single conflict in
the past 25 years they had spent
together. find out the secret
here is my friend's story: recalling his old honeymoon days
said, “We went to Kano State for
our honeymoon. Having selected
horse riding as the first activity, we
both started the ride on different
horses. My horse was okay but the horse on which my wife was riding
seemed to be a crazy one. On the
way ahead, the horse jumped
suddenly, making my wife topple
over. Getting up from the ground,
she patted the horse’s back and said,
“This is your first time”. “She climbed
the horse and continued with the
ride. After a while, it happened
again. She again kept calm and said,
“This is your second time” and continued.
When the horse dropped her the
third time, she silently took out a
revolver from her purse and shot
the horse dead! “I shouted at my
wife: ‘What did you do, you psycho. You
killed the poor animal. Are you
crazy?’ She gave me a silent look,
smiled and said: “This is your first
time!”. …AND WE HAVE LIVED
HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!

27/07/2014

The following conversation ensured
between Akpos and his teacher in an
English class. TEACHER: “I killed a person”, convert
it to future tense. AKPOS: The future tense is, “You will go to
jail”.

26/07/2014

Akpos’ Dad bought a Range Rover
Sport Car.
Akpos’ Elder Brother struck a deal
with Akpos. He told Akpos to call him on phone
when nobody is at home so that he’ll
come and take the car out to show
off to his friends. When nobody was at home Akpos
called him on phone; Hello Bros
Rukevwe nobody is at home. You
can come and take Daddy’s car out. The elder brother said okay.
And rushed back home from where
he was.
He got home and was shocked to see
the gate locked. He called Akpos on phone; Hello
Akpos, i am now at home to take the
car out as planned. Why is the gate
locked?. Akpos replied; Bros Rukevwe were
you not the one that told me to call
you to come and take the car out
when nobody is at home. Mummy
and Daddy are not at home. I am not
at home too.

17/01/2014

17/01/2014

Insurgency under control. New Nigerian Army Recruits. lol

Don't laugh at him cos he'll only make you what he is.

17/01/2014

What will you do if you find out he's sitting beside you in the exam hall?

04/01/2014

One spelling mistake can destroy a
marriage! A husband wrote a message to his
wife on his official trip and forgot to
add 'e' at the end of a word, "I am having such a wonderful time!
Wish you were her !"

03/01/2014

Welcome to 2014

03/01/2014

May The Year 2014 Bring for You.
Happiness,Success and filled with Peace,
Hope & Togetherness of your Family & Friends.
Wishing You a *HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014*

16/12/2013

Compliment of the season to you our esteemed customers

15/12/2013

Akpos was arrested in Lagos by a
group of LASTMA Officials for
driving on the BRT Lane. His car was fined 5,000 Naira. Upon all the begging and pleadings,
the LASTMA Officials refused to release
the car. Akpos asked; Okay. May i know where
you are towing my car to?. One of the LASTMA Officials replied; We
are taking it to Alausa. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!....Akpos laughed out
loud. All the LASTMA Officials were surprised
and paid attention to him, wanting to
know why he was laughing. Immediately, Akpos brought out his
phone and started speaking; Good morning. No sir! Not less than 30
Minutes before it will
explode!. The car has been arrested.
Only 20 out of those new
bombs are inside the car. They are
taking the car to the targeted destination Alausa! I'm coming back
to Maiduguri alive now.
Thank you sir. Greet other faithfuls for
me. Akpos said, rounded off his
imaginary call and looked around, no
LASTMA Officials were in
sight. He entered his car and speed off. One word for Akpos.