12/04/2026
I AM LOST AND I NEED HELP.
I started losing the blueprint of the life I was supposed to have in 2006, at the age of 16 years old, on the day of my final interview for the most popular question of all time, the "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I was 5 years old then, when I didn't raise my hand when the teacher asked. All the kids are saying. I want to be a teacher, nurse, doctor, pilot, soldier, policeman/woman, except for me.
How about you Ariane. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
I WANT TO BE A JOURNALIST. I WAS SURE ENOUGH.
THEN IT TOOK ME 14 YEARS TO KEEP FIGURING OUT HOW TO SURVIVE THE PATH OF BECOMING A NURSE AND STILL LOST.
SO I UNDERSTAND EVERYONE WHO LEFT AND REFUSED TO HELP. FOR EVERYONE WHO CAN'T HEAR THE WORDS I CAN'T SPEAK. THERE IS NOTHING FOR YOU TO BE SORRY. I CHOSE TO FORGIVE AND STOP BLAMING. I JUST NEED TO KEEP GOING.
I WAS ONCE A ONE CALL AWAY FRIEND, THE ALWAYS AVAILABLE FRIEND TO EVERYONE WHO NEEDS HELP. THE BIGGER PERSON OF THE CROWD. THE LOVING ATE/MANANG ARIANE. THE ONE WHOSE ALWAYS LEFT TO STAY EVEN THE WORLD GO AGAINST YOU. THE MOST UNDERSTANDING. THE ONE WHO WILL FIGHT FOR YOU. THE ONE WHOSE TRYING TO FIT IN.TO ADJUST. TO FIX THE THINGS I DIDN'T BROKE. TO STAND UP FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE BEING BULLIED AND TO LOVE THE MOST HATED PERSON IN THE CROWD.
UNTIL I FOUND MYSELF LOOKING FOR THE SAME PERSON AS I AM AND NO ONE SHOWED UP.
SO I BECAME OKAY WITH ANYTHING. I BECAME OKAY OF BEING NOT LOVED.I BECAME OKAY WITH BEING JUDGED AS NONCHALANT. I BECAME SOMEONE THAT PEOPLE WOULD NOT WANT TO BE AROUND ME. BECAUSE I WANTED TO SEE ME IN OTHERS.THE ONE THAT HAS THE EYES THAT'S SAME AS MINE. I WANTED SOMEONE TO SEE AND HEAR NOT THE THINGS I W SHOW BUT THE STORY I DIDN'T SHARE OUT LOUD.
I AM STILL LOST BUT I REFUSE TO GIVE UP UNTIL I CAN FINALLY REACH THE END OF THIS PTH EVEN THAT MEANS I HAVE TO START AGAIN FROM 2006, WHEN MY PATH OF BECOMING A JOURNALIST TOOK A RE-ROUTE OF BECOMING A NURSE.
I AM STILL LOST BUT I SHOW UP. I AM STILL LOST BUT I AM LIVING.
I KNOW I AM NOT ALONE. WE'RE ALL A LITTLE LOST AND IT'S OKAY.
