06/06/2025
“Where Do Broken Hearts Go?
I'd rather call it wounded, for wounds can heal given enough care and the passage of time. Broken things, on the other hand, will be hard to put back together, and sometimes, some of the pieces become totally gone.
So where do broken hearts go?
Nowhere. They just got embedded so deep into your heart of hearts,
all the while creating thick walls around themselves, as a protection from future emotional pains.
How then do we manage emotional pain? Perhaps by doing the following steps:
1. ACCEPTANCE. This is happening right now. The more you resist, the more the pain persists.
2-3. EMBRACE the PAIN and ABANDON ALL HOPES.
You know the love of your life won't return, no matter how long and intense your prayers and wishes are. Or that the other person in a damaged relationship will ever change.
EMBRACE your pain soon enough, then flow with it.
Abandon your HOPE, now.
For doing differently will only prolong your pain, and anchor you for the longest time in the past. Thus moving on will not happen, or if, by some miracles, it does, it will happen in a glacial pace.
4. CREATING NEW HOPE. Now that you have reached the pit of your despair, what new things can you do, despite your pains?
Focus on what else you can do, instead of obsessing for a relationship destined for heartaches and tears. Give a pain a name, and carry it deep within your heart.
5. COMMITENT. Commit to new way of being and doing, regardless of the length of time. After the passage of time, the new way of being and doing will help you manage the pain inside.
6. ACTION. And what else can you do for your psycho-emotional pain management? Here are some practical, doable, and tried & tested ways of managing wounded hearts:
Create a song list, then cry your hearts out while listening to the songs.
Visualize a happier place and time and stay there for a time. Until the intense pain temporarily subsides.
Shop. Travel. Write journals and letters to self. Learn new skills and do something "crazy." Dance under the rain.
Cook. Adopt and immerse yourself in new hobbies. Sing along with Karaoke even with tears in your eyes.
Camp out. Look for an open, grassy area, put on a mat and gaze at the stars.
Play with little children. Do charity work. Be kinder with yourself.
Climb mountains. Run. Swim. Go snorkeling.
Meet new friends and rekindle old ones. Take long walks in the woods. Go on a pilgrimage.
Be silly; connect with the child within you.
Look for faeries. Dance under the rain. Eat ice cream. Cry. Laugh. Be curious.
Catch rainbows.
And if, after doing all these, after all the intervening years, you still feel that the fire still burns, ember-like;
slow and steady, for the greatest love of your life.
Then send her/him a silent prayer of love and affection. Of strength, and good health, and a happy life.
Love from afar and make your peace with it.
Perhaps, in the end, as Gibran said: 'You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days."
And you say: "I will always look for you in all my different lifetimes, in all the different worlds."
May you live the dreams you always dreamt you were.”
CTTO:
