Celebrity Bed & Breakfast at The Historic North Theatre

09/16/2022

With the passing of Queen Elizabeth much has been said about her remarkable life and her great dedication to her country and its people. It has also been noted that she had a very good sense of humor and a warm smile. May she rest in peace and God bless her, the new King Charles III and the people of the United Kingdom.
TICKLE ME TUESDAY FUNNIES-Royal Humor
What do the French listen to in their spare time? Royalty free music.

I visited a little cafe not too far from the Royal Mile in Edinburgh and ordered a coffee and a donut. The coffee was bland and cold but worst of all the donut was stale.
“Excuse me.” I said, “These donuts are stale.”
The assistant was polite, “I’m sorry sir, those are yesterday’s donuts.”
“Where are today’s donuts?”
“They don’t come in until tomorrow.”

What's the best part in a joke about French royals? The ex*****on.

The king wanted to go fishing and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours. The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain. So, the king and the queen went fishing. On the way they met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and the king asked the man if the fish were biting.
The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge rainstorm."
The king replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him."
So, the king continued on his way. However, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked. Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the meteorologist. Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster.
The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain."
So, the king hired the donkey. And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government.
My DNA ancestry results came back and I’m 100% Nigerian. It turns out I’ve been neglecting my royal prince cousin for years by not responding to his emails.

After having his title stripped and funds cut off by the Royal Family, Harry has taken up painting to supplement his income. He’s the Artist formerly known as Prince.

Once there was a prince who had been cursed by a witch. The curse was that he could only say one word every year. One day, while walking the royal gardens, he comes across a woman. Immediately it is love at first sight and he decides he wants to marry her.
So, he doesn't talk for 3 years, so he can save up the 3 words to say, " I love you."
Then, realizing it wasn't enough, he waits another 4 years so he can say, "Will you marry me?"
Finally, after 7 years since he first laid eyes on her, he gets on his knees, looks up at the woman and says, “I love you. Will you marry me?”
The woman looks at him and responds, “Sorry, what was that?”

07/20/2022

Tickle Me Tuesday-Birthday Humor

You know you’re getting old when you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you.

Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays, live the longest. (But it has also been scientifically proven that too many will kill you.)

It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present. ‘Oh, I don’t know,’ she said . ‘Just give me something with diamonds.’

That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards.

I’ve never enjoyed my surprise birthday parties because all I can think about is how good my friends are at lying to my face.

A couple had been debating the purchase of a new car for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.

“Look!” she said. “I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me.”
So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

A man asked his wife, “What would you most like for your birthday?”
She said, “I’d love to be ten again.”
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park – the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning.
Then they were off to a movie theater where they ate popcorn and sweets and drank Cola. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked, “Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?” One eye opened and she groaned, “Actually, honey, I meant dress size!”

I finally realized my parents favoured my twin brother. It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.

Johnny had long heard the stories of an amazing 21st Birthday family tradition. His father, grandfather, and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. On that special day, they’d each walked across the lake to the bar on the far side for their first legal drink.
So when Johnny‘s 21st birthday came around, he and his friend Jill took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Johnny stepped out of the boat, and nearly drowned! Jill just barely managed to pull him to safety.
Furious and confused, Johnny went to see his grandmother. “Grandma,” he said, ‘it’s my 21st birthday, so why can’t I walk across the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?”
Granny looked deeply into Johnny‘s troubled eyes and answered, “Because your father, your grandfather, and your great-grandfather were born in January, when the lake is frozen, and you were born in July.

07/14/2022

This year is our 75th anniversary. It is also the 10th anniversary of being owned and operated by celebrity magician Wayne Alan. This year on Saturday, Aug. 27 he will present an anniversary celebration/show. Details will follow next week.
TICKLE ME TUESDAY FUNNIES-Beach Humor:
A guy just exited a high-rise hotel on the beach and he's walking along the sand and boom something hits his foot. After further examination he sees that it's a glass eye. He immediately looks up and there's a beautiful woman on the 3rd floor looking over the balcony and he shout's. “Is this your glass eye?” She said yes and invites him up to her room. After drinks, dinner and a sleepover the guy wakes up in the morning and asks, “Do you do this all the time?” She replied, "Only if somebody catches my eye.”

What washes up on tiny beaches? Microwaves.

I went to the beach yesterday and stopped at this place on the boardwalk with a sign that said, "Lobster Tales $10.” I thought that was a good deal, so I gave the man the money and he said "Once upon a time there was a lobster..."

A big hurricane came by and washed a beach away. The sea rises by and says "Oy! Beach! Where's the rest of ya!?". The beach replies: "I'm not shore anymore."

I was feeling lethargic and apathetic so I took a vacation to the Bahamas. Still completely unmotivated, I just sat on the beach with a bottle of rum for hours and watched as a storm rolled in. I was in a tropical depression.

I went to a n**e beach today and let me tell you, I had a lot of women’s attention. I could just feel them dressing me with their eyes.

Ralph was driving from work Friday afternoon on his way to the beach to meet his family and celebrate his daughter’s birthday. He realized that he hadn't bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager, "How much is that new Barbie in the window?"
The Manager replied, "Which one? We have Barbie goes to the gym for $19.95, Barbie goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie goes shopping for $19.95, Barbie goes to the beach for $19.95, Barbie goes to the Nightclub for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $375.00."
"Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00 when all the others are $19.95?!?", Ralph asked surprised.
The Manager replies, "Well, Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's House, Ken's boat, Ken's dog, Ken's cat and Ken's furniture."

These difficult times will pass. God bless us all.

07/05/2022

FRIDAY’S FUN FASCINATING FACT-Inspired by Alfred Hitchcock's famous mystery movie, 39 Steps, each week we share the previous Friday’s Facebook post which reveals one of 39 fascinating reasons why the Historic North Theatre is known as ‘America’s Most Unique Theatre’.
FRIDAY'S FUN FASCINATING FACT number 17-Rumors About Elvis Performing at the Historic North Theatre. It has been rumored that when Elvis Presley performed in Danville on September 20, 1955 it was at the North Theatre. Theatre owner Wayne Alan dispels that legend by setting the record straight, “Elvis performed at the county fairgrounds where Ollie’s is now located.” While in town Elvis may have visited the theatre and if he did, he could have said, “Wow…I wish I could perform here in this beautiful theatre.” The next year, 1956 is considered the ‘Kings’ breakout year. Since his death in 1977 Elvis has supposedly been sighted at numerous locations around the country. Mr. Alan commented, "To our knowledge, he has not shown up at the Historic North Theatre yet, but maybe it is on his list for the future."

The long-awaited biopic about Elvis hit theaters on June 24, 2022. Elvis will also be available for streaming on HBO Max for 45 days after it's released in theaters.

06/30/2022

FRIDAY’S FUN FASCINATING FACT-Inspired by Alfred Hitchcock's famous mystery movie, 39 Steps, each week we share the previous Friday’s Facebook post which reveals one of 39 fascinating reasons why the Historic North Theatre is known as ‘America’s Most Unique Theatre’.
FRIDAY'S FUN FASCINATING FACT number 16-The Virginia Celebrity Rooms are the two rooms on the mezzanine behind the balcony. They are described as Planet Hollywood meets Hardrock Café meets Cracker Barrel. With the feel of ‘Hollywood comes to Danville’, it features photographs and memorabilia of Virginia, Danville and area celebrities. It also includes celebrities who live/lived in Virginia and also those that visited the Danville area.

Elvis performed in Danville in September of 1956, just before his breakout year. Some of the others included are Wendell Scott (August 29, 1921 – December 23, 1990) who was an American stock car racing driver from Danville. He was the first African-American driver in NASCAR, and the first African-American to win a race in the Grand National Series (now the Sprint Cup Series), NASCAR's highest level. The hit Hollywood movie Grease Lightning starring Richard Pryor is based on Mr. Scott’s life. Also featured is Camilla Williams (October 18, 1919 – January 29, 2012) who was an American operatic soprano who performed nationally and internationally and was born in Danville. In 1946 she was the first African American to receive a regular contract with a major American opera company, making her debut with the New York City Opera in the title role in Puccini's Madame Butterfly. In 1963, as part of the civil rights March on Washington, she sang "The Star-Spangled Banner" at the White House and before 250,000 people at the Lincoln Memorial, preceding Martin Luther King, Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech.

06/19/2022

FRIDAY’S FUN FASCINATING FACT-Inspired by Alfred Hitchcock's famous mystery movie, 39 Steps, each week we reveal in our Friday’s Facebook post one of 39 fascinating reasons why the Historic North Theatre is known as ‘America’s Most Unique Theatre’.

FRIDAY'S FUN FASCINATING FACT number 15-WE DO NOT TAKE CREDIT CARDS-We only accept cash, checks & IOU’s. For the first 5 years we accepted credit cards but found that the fees the bank charged were too high. By not passing those fees onto our ticket buyers, we are able to keep our prices lower. With high inflation and the rising costs of everything, we hope this is a slight help to our customers.

As we know that this is an inconvenience to some of our customers, if they don’t have cash or checks we give them a self-addressed stamped envelope and ask them to mail us a check. Or we give them an IOU. We do not take their name or anything. We simply ask them to pay when they can. (They always do.) Folks find it a bit old-fashioned, but they also are impressed and a bit taken aback by our trusting them. We have never turned anyone away from a show.

06/05/2022

04/09/2022

1. Michael Jackson Tribute Show on May 1 & more shows at the Historic North Theatre www.HistoricNorthTheatre.com
2. Ask to be added to our theatre email list-Put 'newsletter' in subject line. Email: [email protected]
3. FRIDAY’S FUN FASCINATING FACT-Inspired by Alfred Hitchcock's famous mystery movie, 39 Steps, each Friday we reveal one of 39 fascinating secret reasons why the Historic North Theatre in Danville, VA is known as ‘America’s Most Unique Theatre’.
FRIDAY’S FUN FASCINATING FACT number 5-the Theatre Owner. Wayne Alan is not your typical theatre owner/operator. He is a professional magician/illusionist-America’s Only World Champion Illusionist. While some famous magicians in Las Vegas may have a theatre named after them that they perform in, Mr. Alan may be the only magician in the U.S. and possibly the world, to actually own, operate and perform in his own historic theatre.
He is America’s only World Champion Magician/Illusionist, the only American to ever win the prestigious Gold Medal for Grand Illusion at FISM (1982), considered the World Olympics of Magic. He has performed 13 times at the White House and is considered one of the top magicians and magical entertainers in the country. He is regularly included in the best magicians lists in the U.S. and the world.
Mr. Alan is the most famous magician you may have never heard of since he specialized as a Corporate Illusionist® for over 30 years performing at trade shows and sales meetings for Fortune 500 companies. He flew all around the world for his corporate appearances, always under the radar of the general public. He has cultivated the image of one of the top underground magicians in the country. Mr. Alan is considered one of magic's best kept secrets.
On TV he magically produced Will Smith for MTV. He has performed on national TV on Entertainment Tonight, MTV, Inside Edition, Good Morning America, ABC, NBC and CBS Network News programs. He's also appeared with Oprah Winfrey, Larry King and Maury Povich. Mr. Alan has been a consultant for the famous magician David Copperfield and provided illusions to Criss Angel. He is also the author of the best-seller cookbook, Magical Meatless Meals-Famous Foods from Famous People and Places.

04/01/2022

1. Michael Jackson Tribute Show on May 1 & more shows at Historic North Theatre www.HistoricNorthTheatre.com
2. Ask to be added to our theatre email list-Put 'newsletter' in subject line. Email: [email protected]

FRIDAY’S FUN FASCINATING FACT-Inspired by Alfred Hitchcock's famous mystery movie, 39 Steps, each Friday we reveal one of 39 fascinating secret reasons why the Historic North Theatre in Danville, VA is known as ‘America’s Most Unique Theatre’.

FUN FASCINATING FACT number 4. MIA/POW Seat-The Historic North Theatre in Danville, VA maybe the only theatre in the country that reserves a seat for soldiers missing in action and prisoners of war heroes. It remains perpetually empty to help people remember that even though our soldiers are not here, there is always space for them. It also honors all who have given their lives for our country and for all who are serving in the armed forces as well as our veterans. The seat is in the middle of the orchestra section with a commemoration plaque and a 24/7 mini spotlight shining on it from the balcony above.

02/16/2022

https://conta.cc/3sOLDSr

Our comedy club opens next month Main Theatre, Gallery Mini Theatre, Restaurant & Bar, Gallery, Gift Shop and Celebrity B&B 629 North Main Street, Danville, VA 24540 Phone 434-793-SHOW (7469