06/14/2026
An Open Letter from Rico the Cockatoo
Dear Human,
First, thank you for visiting my establishment. As Head of Security, Director of Hospitality, and Self-Appointed Minister of Beverage Compliance, I feel obligated to address this matter.
I understand your frustration. You arrived after a day on the water, reached for your preferred Corona Light, and were promptly informed that the mysterious liquid being poured into a Yeti bottle could not remain on the premises.
Unfortunately, Florida and the people who issue liquor licenses have a strange habit of not accepting “Trust me, it’s just Corona Light” as an official inspection protocol.
If we allowed one guest to bring in outside alcohol, we’d have to allow the next guy’s vodka in a water bottle, the next captain’s rum in a coffee mug, and before long I’d be conducting investigations instead of enjoying my sunflower seeds.
As for the accusation that we did this to increase your bill by $5, I can assure you that no emergency management meeting was held to secure the purchase of a single Yuengling. Even I, a bird with no formal accounting degree, recognize that would be a poor business strategy.
Regarding portions, pricing, and the service charge, reasonable people can certainly disagree. Some guests love the policy, some don’t, and we respect both opinions. The service charge is disclosed and helps support the team that keeps the food coming, the drinks cold, and occasionally explains why beverages from parking lots cannot join us for dinner.
While I’m sorry your visit left you feeling unwelcome, I appreciate that you gave Gilbert’s a try and that you found the food enjoyable overall.
Respectfully,
Rico
Chief Compliance Officer, Beverage Investigator, and Occasional Cockatoo 🦜
Gilbert’s Resort
