Island View Lodge

08/29/2026

08/28/2026

Field Notes from Island View Lodge
(2 Hours 19 Minutes from Bruce, WI Under Laboratory Conditions)

August 28

Today’s Operations:

Fish Fry from 4:00–8:00 PM.

There can be no leftovers this time. Once the Boofay is unplugged, Island View Lodge will be closed for the week. Operations resume at noon on Saturday, September 5, as though nothing ever happened. All organisms with access to transportation and desiring a meal within a three hundred (300) mile radius are invited to come here for dinner this evening. Beyond that, honestly probably not worth the trip.

Marquee Restoration Update: Letters have been ordered for the new marquee. Management will soon possess the ability to communicate carefully selected messages to passing motorists, despite no evidence that passing motorists requested this service.
Ideally, the marquee would stand at the intersection of H & Fisher Lake Road, where it could attract new specimens into the study area. Instead it will remain in the parking lot, where it can only inform those already captured. Although scientifically useless for recruitment, it may help existing subjects understand why they are here.

Management Migration Study: Pre-Ellie Era Management once used its annual week off to travel to Alaska. Despite having to drive to Rhinelander and change planes in da Twin Cities, researchers landed in Anchorage, obtained a rental car and went out for breakfast all before noon on Saturday. [Researchers would nearly die the following day, but this was classified as an unrelated transportation irregularity and excluded from the study].
Last year, the same research team (plus Small Companion) attempted to reach Amacoy Lake in Rusk County, a journey measuring less than 150 miles. They did not arrive until after dark. Only then did they discover they had not brought any food.
The data strongly indicate that Management’s vacation ambitions have collapsed spectacularly since producing a child. Although the study area has decreased by several thousand miles, total travel time has somehow increased significantly. Thus, Researchers respect the hell out of every family that makes it here, whether for an entire week or just long enough to eat supper and flee. Thankfully, the dirt pile provides complimentary on-site childcare upon arrival.

Further research will be conducted during the upcoming shutdown, assuming the Team successfully leaves the property.

In conclusion, please come to da Fish Fry. Continued funding for this research depends on it.

08/27/2026

Field Notes from Island View Lodge
(Two Days from Temporary Abandonment)

August 27

Today’s Operations:
Bar opens at 4:00 PM.
Bingo begins at 6:00 PM.

This is your final opportunity to participate in organized Island View recreation before the entire resort closes from Saturday August 29 through September 4. Management strongly recommends winning tonight, as all unresolved personal disappointments will otherwise need to accompany you through the shutdown.

Fish Fry tomorrow? YES
Fish Fry next Friday the 4th? NO

We will re-open Saturday, September 5 at noon. We will also open at noon on Sunday September 6.

Upcoming Events Currently Beyond the Communicative Capacity of the New Marquee: Management has moved the new roadside marquee into formation. It still has no letters, rendering it an impressively large blank sign. Please read this instead.

• September 9 at 4:30 PM: Art Class with Susan. $25. Registration appreciated but not necessary. Make a one of a kind piece of framed art using sea glass, driftwood and strategically placed lines that turn it all into a surprisingly cool scene.

• September 10 at 1:00 PM: Mrs. Roper Pontoon Cruise — SECOND BOAT IS A GO! We still have room for 5 or 6 additional Mrs. Ropers. $20, includes food, beverages and up to three hours of riding around Fisher Lake with fellow Mrs. Ropers. Don't know who Mrs. Roper is? Doesn't matter! Put on a moo moo and join us!

• September 26: Musky Tournament. $20 to enter. Registration prior to the night before would be refreshing.

Fall Operations: Regular hours and weekly events remain the same for the duration. The only change is that cabins no longer have to be rented by the week. The bar will remain open through October 11. The cabins will close around October 12 or a couple two tree days after dat. Exact dates become increasingly theoretical as the season progresses.

Although Island View is not an official Pumpkin Run stop, we will be open that weekend and currently have plenty of lodging available. We are therefore pleased to serve as an unofficial, Pumpkin Run-adjacent outpost for anyone seeking food, beverages or a place to sleep between autumn adventures.

08/26/2026

Field Notes from Island View Lodge
(Just Outside the Gile Metropolitan Area)

August 26

Observed Phenomena: Last evening’s All You Can Eat Tacos produced an unexpected interaction between two long-running Island View research programs: competitive taco consumption and musky fishing.

Former Cabin 9 resident Adam returned to the study area. Adam and his wife Susan stayed here for many years before stabbing Island View in the back by purchasing their own place in nearby Gile. Just kidding! Congrats again, guys. Happy for you. Don’t worry about us. We’re doing great. Cabin 9’s doing great. Lotta exciting things happening over there. New shower curtain. Whatever. Doesn’t matter. Happy for you.

Adam is also a former Island View Taco Champion. Although his reign was brief, the glory can never be stripped away. Last night Adam arrived with his friend Sam, who had just caught his first musky ever: a 38.5” specimen residing in Cedar Lake. After that absolute highlight, they took a beautiful boat ride to Island View, tied up at the dock out front and partook in tacos.

Adam consumed only twenty (20), well below the current record of 30 established last week by Carson Klug of West Allis. Researchers initially suspected diminished capacity. Further investigation revealed something considerably more interesting.

Adam submitted the following firsthand account:

“I really wanted to go for the Taco record but I wanted to fish some more & I had a boat to take out & still drive home which 31 tacos would have made difficult.

I was at a comfortable 20 tacos & knew I could do another 4 easy and then it’s only 7 after that which I would have been inclined to do & I would have pulled off but that would have ruined the evening and most likely NOT put me at the right place at right time to catch that musky.”

Of particular scientific interest is the phrase “a comfortable 20 tacos,” suggesting the human taco-carrying capacity may be substantially greater than previously assumed.

Adam ultimately terminated the experiment at 20 and returned to Fisher Lake, where he then caught a 43" musky.

This presents compelling preliminary evidence that tacos 21–31 may interfere with musky acquisition, whether through reduced mobility, delayed departure time, impaired boat-removal capabilities, or simple displacement from the correct point in the space-time continuum. Additional trials will be required.

For now, Carson retains the taco record at 30, Sam has his first musky, Adam has another musky, and Management has accidentally begun collecting data on the relationship between excessive taco consumption and Esox masquinongy encounter rates.

Tonight’s Research Activities: Island Time. 🏝 How many people will don a Hawaiian shirt and drive a half hour just to get a free can of Busch Light? Past data indicate...quite a few.

08/25/2026

Field Notes from Island View Lodge
(Not the one in Minnesota)

August 25

Today's Operations:
All You Can Eat Tacos from 4:00–8:00 PM
Trivia starts at 6:00 PM

Current taco record is 30, established last week by Carson Klug of West Allis, Wisconsin. Can anyone feast more? You have six (6) more chances this season.

Developing Maritime Situation: The September 10 Mrs. Roper Pontoon Cruise is officially SOLD OUT. However.......

Management is throwing this out there: if there is enough additional interest, we are willing to take a second boat.

The only thing stranger than a pontoon full of Mrs. Ropers cruising Fisher Lake in caftans and costume jewelry would be two pontoons full of Mrs. Ropers cruising Fisher Lake in caftans and costume jewelry. At that point, it ceases to be a boat ride and becomes a regional event.

If you missed the first boat and would be interested in joining the possible Roper Flotilla, let us know. No commitment yet. Management is merely assessing the potential size of the problem.

Watch for a Witch Cruise coming this fall 🧙

08/22/2026

Field Notes from Island View Lodge
(Approximately 4,054 miles west of the Prime Meridian)

August 22

Today’s Scheule:
Bar opens at 12:00 PM
A fire truck will be here from 1:00 – 2:00 PM unless there is a fire elsewhere

Community Affairs: There is a fundraiser for the Oma Fire Department happening today, and Island View Lodge is participating. Management would ordinarily use this space to provide useful information such as where it is, when it is, what is happening, what our involvement entails, or perhaps even what is being raised and why. Unfortunately, all communications regarding this event were conducted exclusively with Alex. This concludes the information currently available to Management.
At times, Management is mildly butthurt about not being included in various area goings-on. Incidents such as this undoubtedly explain why.

Post-Fish Fry Inventory Assessment: Last evening’s Fish Fry did not produce the level of human consumption Management had optimistically prepared for. We are therefore having a rare/weekly Fish Clearance Event. Copious amounts of cod and perch and a few walleye must go. Anyone with an appetite and an interest in helping us convert excess fish back into money is encouraged to report to the bar.

Upcoming Operational Abandonment: A reminder that Island View will be open as usual throughout the coming week. All hours, events and fish fry will go on like always. Beginning next Saturday, however, we are closing for the week. This particular week has traditionally been slow and Management finally said to hell with it. We are going on vacation. Our chosen vacation destination is an old cabin full of mice where we intend to spend the week re-staining the deck.

Normal operations resume Saturday, September 5 at noon, presumably refreshed following our restorative period of performing unpaid manual labor somewhere else. We will also be open all day Sunday September 6. There will not be Singo.

08/21/2026

Field Notes from Island View Lodge
(Oma)

August 21

Friday Population Projection Study: Preparing an All You Can Eat spread for an unknown number of dinner guests is a high-stakes forecasting exercise Management conducts every Friday. Researchers begin each morning by examining the available data: weather forecast, cabin occupancy, known cabin-dweller affinity for or hatred of seafood and a gut instinct with a documented accuracy rate of 0%. An estimate is then pulled directly from the ether and preparations begin. Fish is readied. Tartar sauce is produced. Mystery bread product is set out to [hopefully] rise. Uncle Gretel fires up his crock pot. By late afternoon, an enormous quantity of food exists for a population that may or may not materialize.
Tonight’s experiment begins at 4:00 PM. Fish Fry is served until 8:00 PM, when a chain of events occurs that renders the production of additional fish impossible. Think Cinderella, but minus any sort of ball, fun or prince.

Piracy-Based Data Collection: FModL and Small Companion traveled approximately 1.5 hours east-southeast last evening to conduct market research aboard a rival aquatic excursion on the Eagle River Chain of Lakes. The twosome boarded a pirate ship for a sunset cruise, though sunset was unavailable. The excursion itself was fantastic and highly recommended. The boat was awesome, the crew fun and the narration interesting. The surrounding commercial landscape, however, was nothing short of troubling.
The Chain is a shining example of competent commercial development: attractive waterfront facilities, ample well-lit docks for patrons arriving by watercraft, manicured lawns with reliable lawn furniture, festive lighting, live music at every turn, full staffs, wood fired pizza and little to no goose p**p. It was horrifying.
After getting a glimpse of “what could be,” Management was not inspired to contact a landscaper, but rather felt compelled to rock back and forth in a dark hole. Conveniently, one is located between the bar and Cabin 5.
While there is certainly nothing wrong with this level of development, the business model here is, blessedly, vastly different. Our nicest lawn furniture was procured free from the side of the road, we rely heavily on cabin guests to alert Management when one of the eight ( 8 ) outdoor lightbulbs has ceased functioning, and we learned our lesson about investing in nice piers the year ours sank and immediately vanished. None of this should be mistaken for laziness. Remaining this unimproved requires constant vigilance. Results speak for themselves: after 99 years of operation, an estimated 85% of Mercer has never even heard of Island View Lodge. Whatever we're doing, it's working.

08/19/2026

Field Notes from Island View Lodge
(2,187 miles to Santa Monica)

August 19

Today’s Operations:
Bar opens at 4:00 PM
Island Time! 🏝

New Maritime Programming: Following the success of the inaugural Delusions of Grandeur All-Inclusive Fisher Lake Yacht Club Experience, Management has decided to do it again, though an economy version this time:

On Thursday, September 10, from 1:00 to roughly 4:00 PM, a Fisher Lake Roper Romp will occur.

The premise is simple: acquire a loud caftan, add an irresponsible quantity of costume jewelry, report to Island View and spend three hours cruising Fisher Lake with a pontoon full of other Mrs. Ropers. This will be a much simpler, economy-class operation than the recent Delusions of Grandeur expedition. Those with a taste of the finer things – fear not, Delusions will set sail again one day. But this is not that day.

Cost is $20 per person and includes the three-hour cruise, food, and beverages of both the alcoholic and non-alcoholic varieties. Mrs. Roper attire is mandatory. Helen would insist.

Space is limited to seven (7) passengers. Advance payment reserves your seat. Payment may be made at Island View or via Venmo:

Fine print: Potty stops as needed. In the event of inclement weather, we will reschedule or refund. Life jackets provided. Assistance getting on or off the boat is no problem, but some stairs are unavoidable. Lodging is available should any Mrs. Ropers find themselves no longer qualified to operate a motor vehicle upon final mooring. This is a very informal boat ride. The so-called Captain is just happy to be out of the house. Any requests or special accommodations are welcome.

08/19/2026

⚠ SPECIAL BULLETIN ⚠
Field Notes from Island View Lodge
(Home of Champions)

August 18

Regular Field Notes have been interrupted by a developing situation.

At approximately 7:00 PM this evening, the Island View Lodge Taco Record was unexpectedly removed from service.

The responsible party has been identified as Carson Klug of West Allis, Wisconsin, currently relishing in the second half of a two-week stay in Cabin 10.

Investigators are struggling to reconstruct the events leading up to the incident. Carson attended Taco Tuesday last week and ate zero tacos, giving Management absolutely no reason to place him under surveillance.

Tonight, without warning, he ate 30.

The previous record of 27, established just last month by Zach Auer, is no longer recognized as the highest known concentration of tacos inside a single person at Island View Lodge.

Witnesses report no celebration, medical intervention or visible regret.

In perhaps the most troubling development of the evening, the new record holder was last observed playing in the parking lot, apparently unaffected by the presence of 30 tacos within his person. He "joked" about probably having some pizza later.

Grandmother Nancy just shrugged and said, "You see what I deal with?" before retiring for the evening.

Management had believed 27 was a record that might stand for some time. Management continues to misunderstand the public.

Congratulations Carson! Cherish that belt. You earned it. Even though it really didn't seem like a big deal. 🤔

08/17/2026

Field Notes from Island View Lodge
(Down south, according to some who live in the Arctic)

August 17

Management is trying something new: announcing upcoming events more than 24 hours in advance:

• Saturday August 29 through and including Friday September 4: Entire resort CLOSED. No cabins. No bar. No restaurant. No Fish Fry on 9/4. No signs of organized commerce whatsoever. Operations resume as normal at noon on Saturday, September 5. Da Vending Oasis will remain open and operational for those requiring 10 pound baygs of ice, snacks or prophecies. That is, until ice runs out and the vending machine becomes too jammed up to continue without intervention. Best to not risk it. Never mind.

• September 9, 4:30 PM: Art Class with Susan
Those wishing to learn how to make art out of rocks, sea glass, sticks and other pieces of debris are invited to participate. You will go home with a finished masterpiece and the skills to make infinitely more. A previous trial of this event was conducted last year, with post-event analysis revealing a 100% participant satisfaction rate. Cost is $25, paid directly to Suze as Ellie calls her.

• September 19, 4:00–6:00 PMish: Postcrossing Meet-Up
Participation is limited to established Postcrossers and other confirmed postal nerds. No introductory instruction will be provided. If you know, you know. If you do not know, researchers recommend continuing about your day.

• September 26: Musky Tournament
Large-scale deployment of boats, oversized fishing equipment and optimism anticipated. Actual musky participation yet to be determined. Management has grown weary of planning elaborate tournament festivities based on a projected attendance of “somewhere between zero and 50.” Early registration is therefore strongly encouraged. Otherwise, expectations regarding hoo-ha should be adjusted accordingly.

• October 10: Final day of bar operations for the 2026 season. Seasonal shutdown procedures will commence thereafter. Researchers are advised to finish any ongoing bar-related studies by this date.

Reminder that September starts our “2 night minimum” time. It is a wonderful time of year here, when the pressure is off. Cabins are no longer fully booked, boats can be crashed without causing a ripple effect of disaster, a fumbled food order isn’t the end of the world and Saturday mornings are no longer Satan’s favorite show to watch. We can all breathe a collective sigh of relief and resume operations at a significantly reduced level of peril.

Rates for stays of less than one week:

Cabin 5: $125/night
Cabins 7 & 8: $200/night
All others: $150/night

Bartering for cool stuff will also be considered. All proposed trades MUST be submitted directly to FMoDL. Do not waste your time attempting negotiations with Alex. He lacks the necessary authority and vision.

Additional events are sure to occur, but advance notice remains unlikely, as da Planning Department operates on approximately the same timeline as those who sign up for fishing tournaments at 10:00 PM the night before.