04/01/2026
🚨✨ NEW AMENITIES ALERT ✨🚨
We’re really raising the bar this season…
🚐 Expert RV Back-In Assistance
Our staff will stand nearby, nod occasionally, and say “you’re good” no matter what’s happening.
Just request assistance and we’ll…do absolutely nothing, but we’ll all pretend it helps.
🛜 Enhanced WiFi Coverage
Now reaches even more areas of the park where it still doesn’t work. Perfect for almost loading a webpage, and then giving up and enjoying nature like we intended.
🌲 New Driver Testing Program
All guests must pass our extreme RV obstacle course: weaving through tight turns, dodging low-hanging branches, and gracefully pretending that scraping the pines was part of the plan.
Minor “tree taps” are encouraged—extra credit if you proudly declare yourself a certified tree hugger afterward.
🐐 Premium Lawn Care Service
Our on-site goats will carefully maintain your campsite landscaping—focusing mainly on whatever looks most expensive or important.
We’d love to hear your thoughts on our “new” amenity upgrades… go ahead, don’t hold back, let us know what you think!