In the coming weeks many of you are going to start hearing various media reports about my recent activities and endeavors. I would like to take this opportunity to address many of these unfounded reports. First of all the prostitute had already been thrown from the hotel window prior to my arrival and the lodging establishment. Second, I do not operate a Ponzi Style Pyramid Scheme in an attempt to
defraud investors. I do however offer opportunities in which SELECT investors can double, triple and sometimes by exponential factors, their initial investment, and allowing them to be their own boss. My second appearance on the television show COPS (r) was a Mear coincidence because they were arresting everyone at that massage parlor. I have never, nor will I ever tear mattress tags from display model beds, knowing its a serious felonious crime. I will admit I have drank pepsi from a coca-cola glass, but it caused serious health problems and I believe I have suffered enough for this reckless practice. Equal parts ammonia to equal parts chlorine is highly deadly from the release of chlorine (mustard nerve) gas. I understand this now as well have learned its not an appropriate way to de-louse scientoligst. That one was on me. If you didnt want to see me naked, quit delivering mail to my house just because I might have a slight shopping addiction. I was told the Chimp that caused all of the damage at the nursing home was trained. I thought to oldies would enjoy primate interaction. The 10 cases of Lyssa Virus (rabies) that killed precious residence Im sure was not linked to these events. I am not a leader of any cult. I have never forced persons to commit suicide. I did have every intention of dying with them however at the last minute our GOD (Television star "Mr. Wizard" Don Herbert) contacted me across the void and told me that I must not commit suicide because i might already have been selected as a winner in the Publishing Clearing House Sweepstakes. I hope none of the found less claims will change anyones feelings and opinions about me. Our church is going through a difficult time and could honestly use donations of "Cash" from anyone who feels in their heart tonight, to help us build our utopian society compound we like to call Paisley Gardens. From now on I will start using my evangelical name of Gidion Fender Paisley. My comigration is coming to a town near you.
