08/28/2026
Not again. I am looking at you, Canada. 🇨🇦👀
Before anyone gets any wild 2020 flashbacks and starts building a fortress of 30-ply Charmin in their garage: relax. We aren’t actually running out of toilet paper.
Here’s the deal: our northern neighbors provide a massive chunk of the ultra-soft wood pulp that makes U.S. toilet paper feel like a cloud instead of 80-grit sandpaper. Thanks to cross-border tariffs, our rolls aren’t disappearing—they’re just getting a lot more expensive.
So no, your local warehouse club won't be empty tomorrow... unless everyone collectively panics and buys 400 rolls tonight. (Please don't. My storage closet can't take another round.)
Worst-case scenario? Your bidet investment is finally looking like genius-level financial planning, or we’re all about to get real comfortable with industrial single-ply. 🧻💸